Triggers. How to stop blowing yourself up.
Updated: Mar 3
OK, so triggers....
We all have them.
They're those situations/circumstances/people that just push your buttons and make you a little cray cray.
The trigger is the external situation.
The explosive material is what we carry inside us.
Trigger + dynamite = KABOOM.
>> Click here to watch an excellent short video from my guru Dr Gabor Mate on how to stop being emotionally triggered. <<
For your own health, sanity and evolution as an emotional adult, it's essential to:
Identify what your triggers are.
Clarify a simple calm protocol for when your buttons get pushed or slammed on.
What this can look like:
When I feel judged, I will take some time out and space in the bedroom, and breathe/meditate for 5 minutes before responding.
Here are a few of my triggers:
Feeling judged or criticized
Carrying shopping in the rain
Not getting the solo time I need to recharge
Pretty much anything and everything when I'm pre-menstral!
I find triggers either press on our unhealed wounds or challenge our core values.
People will annoy us. Especially the ones we love the most. Somethings we can change. Other's we CANNOT - a little wink to my Singapore friends.
When our triggers arise, we have a choice:
To detonate or diffuse
To sabotage or self-soothe
To make war or peace
To blow up, or to B R E A T H E
It's not easy. It's hard.
I fail at these little growth assignments often/daily.
The good news, there will be many more chances to practice.
After every explosion, I notice a few things:
Blowing up takes a lot of energy.
It causes tension, within yourself and in your relationships.
Cleaning up the fallout is messy and tiresome.
It can feel powerful in the moment to unleash your frustration and fury, but I find that momentary release is more trouble than it's worth.
What helps me:
To remember that I'm human and forgive myself when I f*ck up.
My favourite mantra for a post-trigger meltdown: "How very human of me."
To make the necessary apologies when I need to.
To clarify the ideal response when same trigger arises & mentally rehearse for next time.
To know that we can begin again, as many times as we need to.
What are your known repeated triggers?
How's your current plan to navigate and neutralise them when they pop up?
What would it be like to have a clear plan of how to respond calmly in challenging situations?
I offer 1:1 coaching to support you through this process.
Book in here to start the process of moving towards emotional mastery and freedom.